First few days

This is my first post after I started writing a story that is unfolding on its own accord. Writing about it seemed unfair, because how can I explain about something I have no idea how it’s happening? How did I reach this far (not much)? It’s like it’s a kind of voluntary day-dreaming. You want to think about your characters all the time, perhaps because they agree to do whatever you will them to do. You feel there is something I can be in control of. You can make them happy, sad, angry, funny etc. You try and find happiness in their sadness and vice versa. It’s vicarious living and it has to be done urgently every day. Of course, you get tired. Tired of all this thinking on behalf of someone (in this case a lot of them) else. Sometimes you wish why can’t your characters figure out their lives on their own and let you live yours. It’s a kind of immersion that is liberating and suffocating alternately. You just wish you finish the story and let it out in this world, but at the same time you feel that you will no longer have these people in your life (who you try and make as interesting, if not more, than your real life acquaintances, friends and relatives) and you feel sad.