Proud to be a…
How often have we seen people proclaim
this? That they are proud to be an Indian, or Punjabi, or Bengali, or whatever
it is they think they are proud of.
I have thought about it and it
amuses me. I wonder if it is some congenital deficiency in me that I can’t seem
to be proud about anything about myself (more on that later), or for that
matter others around me; some of whom are overachievers. I feel happy and at
times grateful that I know them. But proud? What kind of feeling is that? May be
some of the habitual proud-feelers should write a slim self help book, titled, What To Feel, When You Are Proud.
Is pride a feeling? Can a happy
person be proud? Can a content person be proud? If no, (and I can only answer
for no, never having understood yes) then what is pride? Is it the opposite of
shame? After all think of all those times (at least I can) when people have
said, I am ashamed of you; the perfect antidote to I am proud of you. But then,
isn’t honour the opposite of shame. Honour-killing, as our beloved khap panchayats remind us, is done to
avenge the shame brought upon by the shame-ster. You eliminate the shame bearer
and you restore honour.
So shame is not the opposite of pride.
What then is the opposite of pride? The dictionary tells me its humility.
Aaargh… why can’t life be simple? Just when I was grappling with pride, comes
another inane feeling called humility. And pride, at least has pizzaz. Humility
is plain boring. I much prefer the low-key term unassuming to the loaded word
humility. To be seen as humble is to be seen as a put-on and hence a put-off. To
make a completely irrelevant point, someone once wrote that humility is like underwear,
if it is showing, it’s indecent.
But no, this still does not
explain pride and the need to be proud of something. Then I thought of the old
Onida ad with the devil, and its tagline that said, “Neighbour’s envy. Owner’s
pride.” And perhaps, that’s what it is. There’s no pride without the knowledge
that others are envious of the object of our pride. When we say we are proud of
something or someone, the assumption is that others can’t have it. Hence, pride
as a feeling, when it exists, is a deficient emotion, feeding as it does on
others’ apparent or perceived envy.
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